Missing the Meal: How Fear Makes Us Miss Our Moments

Image generated using AI by Athena Rocar

I’ve been rewatching Stargate SG-1, the classic sci-fi show that ran from 1997 to 2007. If you're unfamiliar, it's about a group of humans traveling through a network of portals (Stargates) to other worlds. They explore new civilizations, make friends, and usually end up helping those civilizations fight off a group of power-hungry alien overlords. You know, classic sci-fi stuff.

In the episode Meridian, Dr. Daniel Jackson gets exposed to a lethal dose of radiation while saving a planet. As he’s dying, his friends come to say their goodbyes. But then something unexpected happens: a mysterious woman named Oma Desala appears and offers him a choice: die, or ascend to a higher plane of existence and live as energy among the Ancients. Very on-brand for sci-fi spirituality.

Oma often drops Zen-like wisdom, and one phrase in particular jumped out at me:

“If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago.”

That one hit me.

What Do We Think We Know?

Let’s unpack that. To know something often means you’ve made up your mind about it. You've taken information, sometimes facts, sometimes assumptions, and labeled it as truth. But here’s the catch: that kind of "knowing" can limit you. It shuts the door on new perspectives.

We do this all the time. We get a gut feeling, a hunch, a piece of advice, and immediately we latch onto it as gospel. And the more we reinforce it, the harder it becomes to see beyond it. That’s classic confirmation bias. We filter out anything that doesn’t match what we already believe. We stop growing. We miss what’s actually happening because we’re so sure we already understand it.

Too Late to Eat

Another way to interpret the quote: if you instantly recognize the fire, it's probably because the cooking's already been done. The moment has passed. The opportunity came and went, and now you're just waking up to what could’ve been.

That’s a brutal realization. We often don’t see something clearly until it's behind us. And by the time we do? The meal's cold. The door’s closed. The chance is gone.

Living in the “What Ifs”

We all carry those thoughts around:

• I wish I had...
• If only I had...
• Why didn’t I...?

They echo in our heads, sometimes for years. And those what-ifs can paralyze us. We start avoiding risk altogether. We play it safe because safe is predictable. Safe keeps us from feeling the sting of regret.

But in staying safe, we also stay stuck.

The truth is, fear often masquerades as logic. It convinces us that now isn’t the right time. That we’re not ready. That maybe it wasn’t meant to be. But often, it’s just fear, of failure, of rejection, of the unknown.

And while we wait for certainty, the fire burns out. The meal goes cold. The opportunity disappears.

Realizing We Held Ourselves Back

It’s only when we zoom out, take risks, or let ourselves see a different point of view that we realize—we were the ones in our own way.

We didn’t miss the opportunity because it wasn’t there.

We missed it because we were too afraid to take it.

Final Thoughts

I think what hit me most about that quote, and honestly, this whole episode, is how often we miss out on something not because it wasn’t meant for us, but because we weren’t ready to see it for what it was.

We hold ourselves back. We let fear dress up as practicality. We wait for perfect timing, perfect clarity, or perfect confidence, none of which ever really come. And in that waiting, we let the moments pass.

The truth is, life doesn’t always come with a flashing sign that says “this is it.” Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes it’s messy. And sometimes it looks like risk, discomfort, or a leap into the unknown.

But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the real growth, the real opportunity, happens when we stop needing all the answers and step forward anyway.

So if something’s been nudging at you… a chance, a dream, a change you’ve been avoiding, maybe this is your candlelight. Maybe the meal's still warm.

Don't miss it.

🔗 Keep exploring:
If you found this post useful, check out this related read:
Overcoming False Beliefs to Live Fully
Breaking Karma Cycles: Lessons Beyond Cord-Cutting
Decisions: How We Choose, and Why It Matters